--------------------
misogynists don't know they're misogynists until somebody not only tells them but makes them understand why because words don't change minds only experiences do because surprisingly real bad people are the minority & the fake ones are simply misunderstood not just by everyone around them but by their own subconscious because insecurities lack of knowledge & loss of empathy created homophobia the KKK & world war 2 -------------------- what makes creativity where do we draw the line between madness & art how do you look a person in the eye & tell them their art isn't art you can't because you can't crawl into someones headspace you can't see another's perspective from their very own eyes so maybe that is why we have art in the first place -------------------- the day I decided I am done putting time into things I hate putting effort into relationships that don't matter & letting stupid assholes break my heart was the best fucking day of my life --------------------
0 Comments
--------------------
night is darker without you here pain hurts a little more sadness brings more tears & the stars don't dance as much I think I've been living in your light for so long that it feels like 1,000 gloomy days in a row because you can still have a good day when it's cloudy it's just not the same without the sun -------------------- --------------------
out of all of the people walking past the brick wall you stopped you heard the whispers & hums so you whispered back & suddenly the whispers turned to knocks & pretty soon there was a hole in the wall and one big curious eye staring right back at you begging for more so you began to slowly pull apart the pieces brick by brick there were days when she'd shut you out try to repair the damage you had created but you persisted unlike any before in fact the others had no decency to even try & yet you did because pretty soon there was no more wall only a girl who had been there all along with open arms and an open heart & when she asked you why you said it is because I love you -------------------- I think true love is reconnecting FaceTime calls 5,000 miles away tucking her in at night when no one else is home to letting her mascara stain your shirt as she cries on you shoulder showing up at a parking lot even though she said she was okay coming to the airport at 2 am opening the door to a crying boy who can't bear to let you go -------------------- --------------------
I am so confused where am I which way is up which way is down maybe I am looking for answers in plain sight maybe the answers aren't syllables rolling off their tongues maybe the answers are hidden behind the words in warm embraces kind expressions & laughter I'll get there I say for this place is starting to feel more & more like home everyday -------------------- your eyes called out for me to stay they didn't understand why I was leaving or where I was going I cannot describe the feeling when I left you behind the day my aspirations suffocated me in the dark all alone when my hopes & dreams stole all I loved and left me crying on the cold hotel bathroom floor -------------------- lost in a sea of words like a million rivers that don't connect no current can be found no beginning no end simply abstract flowing through my mind I am drowning in these waves of letters & sounds the infamous blank stare that must play across my face the shore is where I'll be I can't even dip my toes in the water & those who are swimming just can't understand ----------------
tears flood my face swell my cheeks & hold me frozen these tears are new the water that drains through me is clean I do not feel worhtless or damaged or pulled into tiny little pieces all I feel is sad it reaches every corner & tugs softly at my heart maybe this is what real feeling feels like & maybe this hurts even more ----------------- I see two lovers
they sit across the table they love each other I have seen it everyday of my life I hear one I see one they are not together yet they are their sorrows fill them with happiness I tell myself maybe I am wrong for it was them who showed me what love truly is in the first place ---------------------- what happens when you discover that when I yell I yell really really loud what happens when I don't have time to do my hair or pick out clothes what happens when you find me on the floor unable to talk through the sobs & what happens when you realize somedays I can't get out of bed but what happens when you see me complimenting strangers as they pass us by what happens when you catch me dancing around the kitchen while I make us dinner or what happens when you wake up next to me for the first time or when you discover the only thing that I am truly afraid of is loving too hard & what if you stay & and what if someday I ask you why that is and you tell me it is because I love you what if ---------------------- the day that wine spilled from the glass was the day that I transformed from a girl to a woman & the world became real that was the day I realized there is a lot more strength inside of us than we will ever know ---------------------- somedays we all need a break from reality a day to put our hair in a bun hop in the bath and search for clarity I am told I have these days too often but I think I don't have them enough ---------------------- I've realized that even if I ran & sipped coffee from every little cafe in the world these feelings would still come back because as sceneries change feelings stay ---------------------- sometimes people are too busy trying on other people's shoes to go out & find a pair of their own ---------------------- did you know there's a world outside of the dark room & covers that you hide in there's grass & a sun people ride bikes & they smile big & laugh hard & after a while the sun gets tired & as it disappears it reigns colors through the sky as it falls through the earth but then stars come out & the moon greets the stars oh so kindly & it's almost prettier than before & these stars kiss tips of noses & make eyes twinkle as you count them on a soft blanket until the sun comes out again & fills every corner with color and light & here's the thing the sun always comes back & you realize it never left you in the first place & you realize people in this world may leave you but you can always rely on warmth from the sun & kisses from the stars there may be sadness here but if you look closely there is more happiness & when you visit this world you'll never want to go back to your dark room ever again ---------------------- I don't think love will ever find me in the form of a person I don't think I will ever find someone who loves me like I deserve to be loved I think love will only come to me in the form of coffee journals & sunny afternoons (I give up) today
I couldn't get out of bed sleep tames scary thoughts sometimes life moves faster than I can & my brain it tells me that it's easier to lay here sad than to go out & deal with it & live my life today was a hard day It's funny how
people can always make time if someone wants to talk to you they will if someone wants you in their life they make time if they want to kiss you they will kiss you if they want to be with you they will grab your hand with their whole heart & show you off to the world if someone loves you they will tell you every chance they get if someone misses you they will call sober & crying on a sunday afternoon just to say they miss your voice if someone doesn't want you they won't call or kiss or talk or grab your hand this is simplicity so why do we make it so damn complicated ---------------------- I don't know them anymore as I sit in a room I once knew so well & I don't know it anymore familiar strangers I now call them conversations held with blank faces that's all I see blank faces and fake letters rolling off of their tongues these faces used to scare me they'd keep me up at night but not anymore because I've realized I too am just another familiar stranger in a blank faced room ---------------------- 2 months from now I could take a step & turn a corner & see you & the look the one I love so much could be gone & your hands no longer holding mine & to you I could just be a familiar stranger & that is why I am scared ---------------------- the right one will come & it will change everything you will find the love you've always deserved the one that makes you forget lonely nights broken hearts & the tears the many tears the one that knows everything you do right & everything you do wrong & loves you more for it this is the truest of love & one day you will wake up & realize that lover is has been there all along staring back at you all these years ---------------------- the shadow man he pulls me into the ground & stomps on my lungs over & over I can't breathe he shakes me & I shake & shake people cry out but my voice is no longer a part of me the shadow man keeps me pinned tight to the floor as he pulls tears from my eyes & rips screams from my lungs & then he just leaves me there with no explanation & I am broken (panic attack) ---------------------- when I was little I used to cry when I'd step on ants so I wouldn't step on them because I didn't want to cause others pain & now I realize not all children were like me & now I wish people could leave some things alone & not step on everything in their path because those ants the ones I didn't step on they danced & the beetles cried out let it be ---------------------- it is okay to break
because it makes you realize you have the strength to put yourself back together ---------------------- you ripped my soul in half shoved me in the corner with all the others touched me then left me so alone and sad the saddest I had ever been but I thank you for if I had not been broken in that corner I would have never discovered that I did indeed contain the strength to pick up the pieces and mend myself with love not from anyone else but me ------------------- he looks at me his eyes are the ocean for they are as wide as the sea I know for a fact I create those waves of curiosity I am responsible for the surge of colors from the sunset that play along the the water he looks at me with pure appreciation of what is before him and then I ask myself when will the tide roll in when will those waves disappear and when will I be left with no ocean staring back at me at all -------------------- maybe happiness is coffee a bookstore a piano my dog warming my toes in the cold of night the crisp mountain air a new sweater a pencil a journal a song a stranger's smile or a simple "hello" maybe happiness has always been here I've just never opened my eyes ears or heart to it but now I have & I am happy --------------------- my mind is a weapon these thoughts like knives I am a pool of blood most nights from all the wounds that creep along my skin these thoughts they drag me in a corner send tears down my face place hatred from others onto myself those are the deepest of cuts I tell myself I must shut up or I will surely bleed to death -------------------- still no response you hate me I think you are done where are the other girls where is my evidence why do I think this our tongues danced our hands touched your eyes were an ocean shut up I say shut up shut up shut up you don't like me I say shut up shut up shut up you never did I say shut up shut up shut up I shut up but my mind still whispers you will never be enough (what he did to me) --------------------- why is it we learn numbers & not empathy we see screens but not the truth why do people give compliments that are fake why are the smartest people sometimes the stupidest why don't I think like everyone else why don't I love like everyone else I am not like everyone else but I don't mind not one bit -------------------- why are there bad people I used to not believe in them until I thought I loved one & believed one & trusted one & not just one I always see the good embedded in the bad It's who I am some people see that & use it to get what they want I used to wonder why people hurt other people I never understood until I realized it's because the only person they really want to hurt is themselves so when people use me I don't do anything other than create empathy ---------------------- fuck you for fucking me over & screwing me up & making love harder touching & being touched is harder I put up brick walls instead of open arms because of you I cried and never laughed I hid in the dark instead of dancing in the light fuck you for stealing those months from me fuck you for leaving me & coming back only to break me worse than before & fuck me for letting it happen ---------------------- curiosity is the best toxin ------------------------ I bought you socks I am broke but I bought you socks I was going to get me a pair but I bought you a pair (love) ------------------------- maybe I put up brick walls because I am waiting for someone to have the desire to knock the walls down someone curious enough to discover what is behind the stone wall a silly girl disguised as a bold woman the girl hidden behind the brick loves neck kisses & rainy days & could talk forever the girl behind the brick wall has dreams desires & so many aspirations the girl behind the brick wall is waiting with open arms & an open heart but all she sees is bricks |